happydalek (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
happydalek) wrote2008-12-11 08:21 am
happydalek) wrote2008-12-11 08:21 am
I Saw Twilight
First, the good: As movies go, it actually wasn't that bad. Catherine Hardwicke did a great job of capturing the emo and awkwardness of being a teenager. Bella's relationship with her dad was particularly honest and well-developed. All of the teenagers (I don't know how many of the actors actually are) felt genuine and their relationships were completely reminiscent of what I experienced in my high school days. Good acting from most of the cast really sold it.
Now the bad: The silly, undeveloped vampire mythos. The Cullen's ridiculous white skin (does it strike no one as odd that Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster children share their impossible pallor?) Why do they sparkle like diamonds when the sun hits them? They have venom, but no fangs. And the whole evil vampire subplot that fuels the last third of the movie felt really tacked on and pointless. Especially when the formerly gentle tale of supernatural teenage wuv suddenly involves grisly dismemberment and torture.
Finally, the awful: ROBERT PATTISON'S HAIR. OMG, you have no idea how much I desperately wanted to attack his head with an electric razor. What was with that stupid pouf anyway? How can anybody possibly think that looks good? AAAaagghh. NO MORE MOUSSE FOR YOU. EVAR.
Additionally, I was deeply creeped out by the themes of this movie. Bella is a convincing teenager in part due to how incredibly naive and stupid she is. Most people have a hard time meeting people and making friends in a new town, but when Bella arrives in Forks, she is immediately received with open arms and friendly smiles by her peers. If only we were all so lucky. Yet Bella all but spurns these friendly advances in her fascination with the seriously spooky Cullens. Edward repeatedly warns her that he is dangerous, isn't sure he can control himself around her, etc., but Bella doesn't even seem to hear him, convinced on NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER that he's quite safe. Her relationship with Edward is shockingly unhealthy. The guy stalks her. Admits to SNEAKING INTO HER ROOM AT NIGHT TO WATCH HER SLEEP. Tells her he feels protective of her, that she's his "own personal heroin," can't stay away from her, and worse still, WANTS TO EAT HER. But Bella doesn't care. She loves Edward. Wants to be a vampire too, if she can. Girl has issues. Serious issues. That's right, girls, it's okay to have a creepy controlling boyfriend. Because that's how he shows his love for you.
I was struck, especially during the baseball scene, at how sad and empty the lives of the Cullen clan really are. They are vampires, designed to feed on the blood of humans, with superhuman powers. Yet they have chosen instead to keep trying to live as normal people. Which they are not. They read books. Listen to music. Go to high school after high school after high school, denying their nature and being (I suspect) even more unhappy and emo than they let on. It's a false existence, and one I can't imagine them being able to sustain. They just seem so dead inside. You know, even for vampires.
Now the bad: The silly, undeveloped vampire mythos. The Cullen's ridiculous white skin (does it strike no one as odd that Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster children share their impossible pallor?) Why do they sparkle like diamonds when the sun hits them? They have venom, but no fangs. And the whole evil vampire subplot that fuels the last third of the movie felt really tacked on and pointless. Especially when the formerly gentle tale of supernatural teenage wuv suddenly involves grisly dismemberment and torture.
Finally, the awful: ROBERT PATTISON'S HAIR. OMG, you have no idea how much I desperately wanted to attack his head with an electric razor. What was with that stupid pouf anyway? How can anybody possibly think that looks good? AAAaagghh. NO MORE MOUSSE FOR YOU. EVAR.
Additionally, I was deeply creeped out by the themes of this movie. Bella is a convincing teenager in part due to how incredibly naive and stupid she is. Most people have a hard time meeting people and making friends in a new town, but when Bella arrives in Forks, she is immediately received with open arms and friendly smiles by her peers. If only we were all so lucky. Yet Bella all but spurns these friendly advances in her fascination with the seriously spooky Cullens. Edward repeatedly warns her that he is dangerous, isn't sure he can control himself around her, etc., but Bella doesn't even seem to hear him, convinced on NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER that he's quite safe. Her relationship with Edward is shockingly unhealthy. The guy stalks her. Admits to SNEAKING INTO HER ROOM AT NIGHT TO WATCH HER SLEEP. Tells her he feels protective of her, that she's his "own personal heroin," can't stay away from her, and worse still, WANTS TO EAT HER. But Bella doesn't care. She loves Edward. Wants to be a vampire too, if she can. Girl has issues. Serious issues. That's right, girls, it's okay to have a creepy controlling boyfriend. Because that's how he shows his love for you.
I was struck, especially during the baseball scene, at how sad and empty the lives of the Cullen clan really are. They are vampires, designed to feed on the blood of humans, with superhuman powers. Yet they have chosen instead to keep trying to live as normal people. Which they are not. They read books. Listen to music. Go to high school after high school after high school, denying their nature and being (I suspect) even more unhappy and emo than they let on. It's a false existence, and one I can't imagine them being able to sustain. They just seem so dead inside. You know, even for vampires.